bill-swift - April 20, 2011
There are so many things wrong about this picture.
First, let's start with Chuck E. Cheese's as a party location for a wealthy celebrity. Anybody with a son or daughter, niece or nephew, friends with kids, or just your random trenchcoat wearing dirty old man knows that Chuck E. Cheese's is Satan's discount playpen. If Brooklyn Decker is heaven, this rat's nest pizza parlor fronting a urine-soaked gaming center packed with broke-down late 70's third rate arcade games is Hell.
Second, when you purchase your lover boy's divorce from his ex-wife for a few million clams, as LeAnn Rimes did to secure Eddie Cibrian factory refurbished from his then wife Brandi Glanville, you've got to get some commitments to not sharing future family events. Look, I'm all about keeping the families intact, but if you're paying top dollar for a boy toy to mate with, you want to get one with a clean chain of title.
And, finally, when all is said and done and you're at the festering stinkhole that is Chuck E. Cheese's and you're with your new husband and his paid off ex and the kids, do not, DO NOT, let the paid-off ex look hotter than you with beauty customizations courtesy of your bribe money. Ouch.
Sorry, LeAnn Rimes. We love you. We lust you. We even once listened to one of your songs. But epic fail on your first new-husband's ex-family function.
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