Lauren Silverman Going to the Beach, I’m Kind of Looking at Her Butt

Even as Simon Cowell's bastard baby grows within her belly, I must admit I've come to find solace in this entire sordid affair by staring at Lauren Silverman and her butt in stretch pants. I'm trying to find the silver lining to this Scarlett Letter event.

Granted, Lauren Silverman is no beauty queen, and compared to some of Simon's former conquests, she's not top chicken, but, there is that butt. I'm trying to put myself in the mind of Simon as he pulled his friend's wife into various hallways and side rooms to shtup her on the down low. Sometimes, I know I project my own feelings. But, I am at least smart enough to project with a prophylactic. This baby is going to cost Mr. Cowell a small fortune. Enjoy.