Lauren Goodger’s Cleavage Has To Be Seen To Be Believed

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elliot-wolf - August 9, 2018

Lauren Goodger can officially register herself as an extraterrestrial because her body is out of this world. I’m going to need my tin foil hat so she can’t read the thoughts in mind that I’m having about her. But the one thing I do want her to know is that I am a believer. Even if no one else is. She’s so attractive that if I had a choice between watching a sunset or a once in a lifetime Super Bowl starring my favorite team on a Sunday, I’d chose bonding with her by staring at a big ball of fire in the sky every time. Even though I’ve never met the woman in my life, I know she’s going to be an important person in my life. I can feel it in my gut. Or maybe that’s the Mexican food I ate earlier. Gas station burritos and beautiful women often leave me with the same fluttery feeling in my stomach. But I think this time it’s because of Lauren.

I may have a plan when it comes to attracting her attention on the shore. If ships use lighthouses to see where the sea meets land, maybe I can bring a flashlight and wave it at her to let her know where I am. Hopefully she doesn’t steer clear and sails right towards me. Her crashing into me on the beach would be the best accident ever.


Photo Credit: Backgrid USA