Sam Robeson - April 11, 2017
Kylie Jenner is getting her own spinoff series. This is the sixth spinoff show or so from the original Kardashian reality mothership. E! and three hundred of their closest friends are putting their kids through college on this nonsense.
"Life of Kylie" will follow the late teen as she rapidly ages over eight episodes while repeating rehearsed lines somebody stole from a banned school play. According to a half-hearted statement put out by Executive Vice President of Programming at E!, Jeff Olde, Jenner has much to offer the world, as chunked into 16-34 year old women with thyroid issues.
Kylie's beauty, business savvy and fashion icon status have made her one of the most famous and successful young women on the planet. Kylie has achieved so much at such a young age and we know the E! audience will be thrilled now that she is ready to share an inside look at her everyday life.
The last guy at E! to be so complimentary of a mediocre blonde got to finish in Chelsea Handler's mouth. Olde simply gets a trip to Aspen for a convention on how to smile as you ruin young people.
Fans of duck lips and ovine like sounds can already follow Jenner on Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and her premium web service that you can only mock if you've never paid for porn in your life. Apparently, her fans need more.
These couple years have been such an incredible journey with the support of my fans. This show will allow me to give them a peek inside all of the exciting things I am working on as well as some personal time with friends.
That sounds like the exact same promo for your stepdad's show about putting on a dress and pretending you're not gay. He eventually had to cut off his dick to keep five women in Omaha watching. You don't have a dick. What's your failsafe?
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