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Kourtney Kardashian’s Mons Pubis Remains in Control

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Lex Jurgen - August 17, 2016

Kourtney Kardashian pinched her camel toe into place, alerted the press as to her whereabouts, and marched her six year old son into his art class because all the AYSO and Little League spots were taken. Keeping a boy away from sports and school and around women who spend their day regurgitating salads and fretting over which dress ought to solve the nature versus nurture debate on his future tranny experimentation. Estranged drunk dad is going to wonder where it all went wrong when he buys his son his first hooker at sixteen and Mason ends up crying with the pro over shared abusive childhoods.

Kourtney Kardashian was asked why she incorporates her kids into the family's reality show even though that's considered as gross and exploitative as the rest of the fare:

I wanted the children to feel free to run about where they wanted—it's their home, after all—so it was easier to let them. They have known the crew all their lives and the team are very respectful about leaving at 6 p.m., when I like to have family time.

Have you noticed the kids crying at 6pm when the normals leave for the day? Family time starts at 6. You're gone most evenings by 6:15 for publicity events? Family time is watching mommy's nipples get taped as she polishes off three tabs of diarrhetics with a glass of contact lens cleaning solution. 

The Pro Lifers like to query, what do you think the fetus would say if you asked him or her if they'd like to be born? There's got to be a solid voting block for abort among those in utero tasting Kardashian diet powder through the umbilical. 

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

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