Kimberly Garner Bikini and Beachwood

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aldo-vallon - October 11, 2017

 Where are all these photogenic dead trees that can be safely leaned against? Whenever I find myself lying against one, whether it be dead or alive, I end up with more bugs in my hair than a wild chimpanzee. I do not even have half the amount of hair as Kimberly Garner, so there must be some secret I do not know about because there is no way she would be risking the well being of her hair for just a couple of photos. 

Actually, I take that back. From what I have seen nobodies risk for the sake of an instagram pic I do not think there is anything that is held sacred anymore. And all I was talking about before was the bugs that inhabit those things, I did not even touch on the paraphernalia that seems to infest the ground around them. Why are there so many needles and used rubbers at public beaches? I have so many questions. Do they have no more suitable place to be doing that? When do they find the opportunity? I cannot get the chance to buy rubbers without running into the local priest at checkout, I cannot imagine performing the act in public.


Photo Credit: Neil Warner

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