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Kermit And Miss Piggy Break Up

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bill-swift - August 5, 2015

I usually don't care when two celebrities break up. It's none of my business. Gavin Rosdale and Gewn Stefani just announced their split and I'm feeling pretty indifferent about it. But today a publicist for the Muppets announced that after nearly 40 years off and on Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have broken up. The announcement says,

After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Kermit the Frog and moi have made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television ("The Muppets"/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate. And we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter… unless we get the right offer. Thank you for your understanding

I got really sad, like this is no joke I became really depressed. Then I remembered that they weren't real. They are basically glorified socks and yet their split is more depressing to me than that of actual humans that aren't manipulated by rods and fists. Maybe I'm just weird. 

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