elliot-wolf - December 28, 2017
Anyone affiliated with the Kardashian name will most likely sell you a dream, app, or intercourse depending on how deep your pockets run. Kendall Jenner is claiming that her priorities will come before updating her app for the new year. By priorities she clearly means declining sales of people dumb enough to pay $2.99 a month or $24.99 a year encouraged her to pursue other methods of fame whoring for a fortune. The countdown until she gets pregnant started right after her announcement of walking away from app updates. She’s currently scouting an athlete to run one in her end-zone and transform her pregnancy into prime-time television.
Keeping up with Kendall Jenner will be harder to do in 2018. The 22-year-old supermodel announced Tuesday that, in a week, her app is going dark. "As I look ahead to the next year, my goals and priorities are changing. I've had an incredible 2+ years connecting with all of you, but I've made the difficult decision to no longer update my app in 2018," the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star wrote. "I hope you've enjoyed this journey as much as I have, and am looking forward to sharing the next chapter with you. Love, Kendall."
With her app no longer being serviced a majority of low self-esteemed teens will wither away without guidance on how to become famous for doing nothing. There will undoubtedly be a dip in the Instagram model market and possibly a surge in teen pregnancies for the population following close in Kendall’s footsteps. It’s impossible to understand what these priorities are that she’s focusing on when she clearly has no quantifiable skills. It’s a scary world we live in when celebrities get bored making millions from not doing anything and actually wish to work on talents they never possessed initially.
Photo Credit: Backgrid
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