Kelly Brook and Her Crotch Hugging Stretch Pants Are Moving In

Oh, to be mostly alive and living in Los Angeles. It was kind of sucky yesterday with all the smog and traffic and hot wings being raised ten cents to cover the cost of animal cruelty provisions. But then I found out Kelly Brook and her curves of wonderment are moving here. Oh, happy days to be the peeping and mildly stalking my curvaceous neighbor hottie with both my monocle, binoculars, and tri-focal lens I invented specifically for the purpose of Mr. Happy having something to see as well.

Kelly was putting around town over the weekend in her booty and sweet crotch parts hugging blessed stretch pants looking for a new house to call her home. Well, our home I like to think since she broke up from that muscle bound goon she was dating while secretly wishing she could be with the slightly less bench pressy me. Kelly, I have so many housewarming gifts for you. Almost entirely unwrapped, as they shall stay until you move in and I popover with my presents and some brownies. Welcome to the neighborhood, Kelly. If you see creepy things in the trees, I'm sure you're just imagining them. Enjoy.