Lex Jurgen - April 5, 2017
Now that the election dust is semi-settling, the whiplashed I'm With Her celebrity supporters are marching through various stages of loss. There was shock and anger and buying really expensive shit they didn't need and attending one rally for half an hour and Tweet storms. There's a new stage going on. Trying to be liked.
Lena Dunham dropped forty and admitted being overweight wasn't healthy. Sarah Silverman announced a new TV show to earnestly be a uniter. Scarlett Johansson suffered a Ghost in the Shell shock. Madonna returned to her crypt for blood transfusions and a bronze refinish. Katy Perry is reposting old, unflattering selfies on Instagram to remind everybody she's one of them. Hey, who's out of touch now?
Shots where you're sans makeup or going through an acne squeezing facial are the open palms gesture to other women that you come in peace. No, you don't get to fuck John Mayer and Orlando Bloom, but, deep down, we're sorority sisters.
Perry ended her barrage of untouched self-deprecation by hilariously sharing a super sexy photo of herself from a Google search "Katy Perry Hot". See how she did that? You could make a decent soup base out of the brains of the 600,000 people who didn't.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to assume these super wealthy suffragettes are up to some secret scheme and pretending not to be annoying twats for a short while is their cover. In the meantime, consider this a window to masturbate to at least a few good looking women you couldn't stand to see for a while. Lemons, lemonade.
Photo Credit: @katyperry/ Instagram