Karlie Kloss, Nicole Kidman, Emma Stone Lead the Hotties onto the 2017 Oscars Red Carpet

Oh what a night. The Oscars. Like watching one hundred well dressed people compliment each other until they climax. You have to feel sorry for the cleaning crew. And while Academy Awards are ever hopelessly mired in the Wonder of Me prime directive, you can never really top it in terms of A-list movie talent of the sextastic celebrity kind gathering in one place at one time for that glitzy circle jerk.

While this year's Oscars certainly were scripted to be more serious, and unfortunately the ladies and designers got the memo in terms of no wild skin baring outfits, there were a gaggle of hotties that naturally caught my eyes. Nicole Kidman, Emma Stone, Salma Hayek, and Karlie Kloss, who isn't a thespianic but wore perhaps the most funbag revealing gown of the evening. That's where Uncle Bill points his bald statuette if you know what I'm saying. It was a fun filled evening. More fun if you were wearing a half mill in borrowed jewels and downing open bar Dom Perignon. But for the gentleman oglers, this is one of our landmark events. Enjoy.

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