Justin Bieber Disgraces Canada

Members of Justin Bieber's posse reportedly bribed a border official to let their members with criminal records into Canada. As per Canada's policy of being modestly boring, no cash was exchanged but the official was given a bunch of backstage passes to Bieber's show. They claimed the passes were valued at $10,000 dollars, which I am sure is totally accurate since Bieber's sketch ball friends were so willing to throw them away for a walk into Saskatchewan. The customs official has since been fired, because if you take bribes from ratchety twinks the written policy is to get cash only. Some more of Bieber's even tinier minions showed up looking for the same official and tried to repeat the offense. By then Canadian Mounties on horseback had become suspect. Not because of the bribery, which is standard practice, but because the guy at the office everybody already hated for stealing sandwiches from the break room fridge was now also a documented Bieber fan. It was a good time to wash their hands as clean as Canada.

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