Sam Robeson - November 14, 2018
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What is the ultimate takeaway from Juliette Lewis's Instagram meltdown? Scientology works? Old ladies shouldn't have social media? Juliette Lewis is still among the living? But just barely? The DMV should require periodic mental stability assessments, especially for celebrities, because their brains are the consistency of guacamole after years of PCP?
All will be revealed. JK I have no fucking clue. WWTDD Twatter Alt Snacks notified us of Lewis' Instagram meltdown, and it's the perfect thing to check out if you're looking to feel successful in your life. You might be the kind of person who reads WWTDD, but at least you're not.... this.
Lewis is a known crazy, mostly because, while she currently allegedly doesn't believe in Scientology, as recently as in a 2010 interview with Vanity Fair she declared herself to be a Xenu-fucker. Actually, she claimed to be both a Christian and a Scientologist:
I’m a Christian! I think there’s so much confusion because people don’t understand a religion where you can be another religion but you can still practice Scientology. That’s why it’s completely progressive. It’s just tools for living. It’s about understanding one’s self and others and compassion and how to communicate better and how to live in this troubled society. It’s really basic, common sense stuff. It has nothing to do with all this funny folklore that surrounds it. You could be a Jewish Scientologist or a Buddhist Scientologist or a Christian Scientologist or anything else.
And it just works. Obviously. In the two different videos posted to her Instagram - one of which randomly has a rainbow filter, because, old ladies - the forty-five-year-old Lewis laments life or something to the tune of Britney Spears' "Work Bitch." In the rainbow video she simple screams "simpler times" before lip-synching to the song. And in the second video she, still screaming, says:
Can't you save us Britney Spears? Can we be saved? God, why is Satan controlling the universe?
To answer the first question, she can't. But I'd rather have her behind the wheel of a car than Lewis, which is saying something. Maybe the real takeaway is that if you get Lewis as your Lyft driver (which seems like a possibility considering she's making money by pimping a commission-based at-home craft party Ponzi scheme) duck and roll.
this Juliette Lewis Instagram video is the only thing I want to talk about for the rest of the year pic.twitter.com/envJ3edbyf
— frank costa (@feistyfrank) November 13, 2018
Photo Credit: Instagram