Sam Robeson - July 23, 2017
Julianne Hough The Fuck Cares is an inspiration to all stage four nobodies out there looking to make a name for themselves. Hough has thrown everything at the wall, besides porn, to see what sticks. Turns out it's her fuckable body. Porn seems like a natural progression. Hough's appeal has been distilled through multiple seasons on Dancing With The Stars, soulless singing, "who's that again" acting, and activewear modeling. And she persists to this day. If at first you don't succeed, you better stay hot.
Not surprisingly, Hough was able to nab an equally forgettable husband and has been showing off her tight body on their Instahoneymoon. He wears a fedora on the beach. So you know he's a dick. The duo's giddily blasé expressions and poses in these pics solidify them as the J. Crew version of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Hough took one look at the stock images in Target frames and said to hubby Brooks Laich "Aww hun, I want that for us." To which he replied "Aww hun, grab your ankles."
Hough has everything going for her in the looks department. She's like the generic amalgamation of every Google image dredged up under "sexy blonde." Not "talented blonde." Not "compelling blonde." But most of you won't need intellectually stimulating fap material. People are especially keyed in on the topless pic in which Hough's ass cheeks' sole mission is to make other women feel like shit. And they probably should. That ass has made her a millionaire. Sorry female brainiacs. It's all for nothing without daily trips to the gym.
Photo Credit: Instagram