Jose Canseco Is a Rapscallion of Sorts

Jose Canseco's finger didn't actually drop off during a poker game in Vegas after all. Driven by a mix of steroids, an unbridled passion for attention, and what can only be described as a less than moderate level of aptitude, it's really impossible to know what this whimsical bastard will conjure up next. Jose claims he did actually shoot off his middle finger when cleaning his gun or trying to end his life or perhaps raping a farmer's favorite goat. But the finger never fell off again nor was it ever for sale on Ebay nor has Canseco contributed anything to society besides a list of names of PED users in baseball and promising to stop putting himself in a position to have women call the cops on him so frequently. He also has a hot teen daughter which is a something. You could try to keep the middle finger story straight or just chalk this up to nobody should've give a fuck if any Jose Canseco appendage falls off in the first place. Until it's his head then we're going to want to blow some noisemakers or something.

Photo credit: Joe Canseco/Twitter: That's his fucking finger blowing gun