Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer Be Like, ‘Yo Critics Why You Always Hatin?’

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bill-swift - August 7, 2013

Do you know why The Lone Ranger is the biggest box office flop of the summer?

Exactly. It's the critics's fault! They critics decided that the movie was not good before they even saw it and scared people away.

This, at least, is the theory of the film's stars, Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. They're over in Europe right now trying to salvage what's left of their poor misunderstood film, and in interviews with Yahoo! they had some rather choice words.

Here's what Mr. Depp had to say:

I think the reviews were written 7-8 months before we released the film. I think the reviews were written when they heard Gore [Verbinksi] and Jerry [Bruckheimer] and me were going to do The Lone Ranger. They had expectations that it must be a blockbuster. I didn't have any expectations of that. I never do.

And here's an even more biting critique from the Winklevoss Twins:

This is the deal with American critics: they've been gunning for our movie since it was shut down the first time, that's when most of the critics wrote their initial reviews. If you go back and read the negative reviews, most of them aren't about the content of the movie, but more what's behind it... They tried to do the same thing with to ‘World War Z', it didn't work, the movie was successful. Instead they decided to slit the jugular of our movie.

Right on, Baking Soda! People always listen to the critics and never go to see movies they say aren't any good. That's why Grown Ups 2 was such an epic failure this summer!

Wait, what? Grown Ups 2 earned $116.2 million domestically despite receiving favorable reviews from precisely six publications? Well that doesn't count. It was a low-budget comedy. Show me a high-budget action flick that critics panned but nevertheless did well at the box office!

Huh? Transformers 2 made $402.1 million despite getting a 20% score from Rotten Tomatoes? Okay, now I'm confused. Could it really be that movie audiences in 2013 just aren't that interested in a $225 million dollar film that doesn't star somebody with a -man at the end of his name?