Joan Smalls Ridiculously Sexy And She Knows It In A Little Bikini

Damnit, Joan! How many times do you have to be told this? If you want the beach umbrella to do its job then you are going to have to actually get under it. You cannot have it both ways by being both cool and tanned.

I do not know why she thinks she can improve upon her already perfectly bronzed body anyway. You don’t see me trying to improve upon perfection. The only thing to do once you have scaled to the top of that mountain is to sit on your ass eating Cheetos while heckling everyone else up on their climb. If Joan Smalls was not so determined to fight against her destiny, she could fulfill it underneath that beach umbrella.

The worst part is that because of her stubbornness no one is using the umbrella. That means pretty soon rodents are going to take up residency underneath it. Rodents always move into the places people do not want to be. Sometimes they move into the places we do want to be, as well. They are very selfish animals.

Everybody like to complain about beach bums, but one purpose they serve is scaring away all living creatures from the area.

Photo Credit: MEGA