Sam Robeson - August 9, 2017
People have a lot to say about Jessica Simpson's recent outfit that she sported while doing a ho stroll in New York City. Her Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses come with a $2,610 price tag, her purse is a mouth, her shirt is from J. Crew's Busted Sailor Summer Collection, and her skirt is from the set of her Pretty Woman remake: Not Particularly Pretty Woman. After seeing what I can only define as problem areas, I assumed that these images would be accompanied by the words "brave," "body positive," "slam," and "h8ers," but apparently we're not doing that with Jessica Simpson.
The thirty-seven-year-old bazillionaire made the necessary steps to take attention away from her body when the time had come. She laid that chapter to rest with the creation of her fashion empire and overall rebranding as business tycoon versus fuckable mentally-challenged Daisy Dukes-stretcher outer. Maybe she still... acts? Sings? But that's not what's bankrolling her shitty fashion choices.
Last time we checked out Simpson, she was working her angles on a pool float and looking like her former self. Today she's Honey Boo Boo. This is what not giving a fuck looks like. As if pouring herself into a size six skirt wasn't enough, Simpson also tied her shirt into a knot halfway through her day to expose her stomach. We don't even get a thesis statement on being a selfless icon of body whateverness. Ashley Graham just wolfed down a loaf of bread and put on her game face. "I'll show this bitch."
Photo Credit: Splash News
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