Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are getting married this week

She still seems really cool, and he still seems like a little douche, but Jessica Biel is still gonna marry Justin Timberlake anyway, and now the hot rumor is that she's gonna do it in the next few days in Italy.

"The wedding is top-secret," a close friend of the couple tells Life & Style. "Save-the-dates went out in the spring and little information was given. Guests were warned that any phones or cameras would be confiscated, so best to leave them at the hotel."
 In fact, the wedding's so confidential, even loved ones had to sign confidentiality agreements and weren't even informed of the venue!
"They were told just to fly to Italy," shares an insider.

If I'm one of their closest friends or family, and I'm frisked at the door to make sure I don't have my phone, this wedding better be in the fucking Batcave. "Come to this secret address, but don't tell anyone where you're going, and don't bring your phone." It sounds more like a lazy kidnapping than a wedding.