Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Rowland and More Hotties at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards

The Billboard Music Awards was a veritable bevy of hotness. Nicki Minaj and her giant ta-tas were on full display. She has got to be in the top 5 most gargantuan melons on Earth right now. My hometown girl Kelly Rowland was wearing what is essentially a sports bra. I remember seeing Kelly and her girls back in Houston in the 90's. Those sweater puppies helped me through puberty. My girl Jennifer Lopez was also on hand wearing a sheer see through skirt and a tiny pair of short shorts. J-Lo's legs are friggin dynamite. That is what arroz con pollo does, god bless it. Kylie and Kendall Jenner were also there looking hot as F. Kylie had a top that was basically a glorified bikini top. One of my childhood crushes, Danica Mckeller, attended as well. She brings back memories of me sitting and staring lustfully at The Wonder Years.

One of the main reasons I want to become famous is so I can go to events like this. Besides the beach, the red carpet is the best place to ogle celebs.