Is The Loch Ness Monster Dead?

There is some truly alarming news coming out of Scotland: the Loch Ness Monster hasn't been seen in 18 months and is feared dead. This is the longest stretch of time in over 90 years that Nessie hasn't been spotted by the people whose job it is to look for the creature. The Loch Ness monster is thought to be a dinosaur or something that for reasons that defy science and reason has survived 65 million years of evolution to live in a Scottish lake. For them to have survived this long it's thought that there is or was a family of the beasts in the lake. It's possible that the monsters have finally become extinct if only one member of the species was left.

What the hell is the area of Loch Ness going to do now? They kind of live off of people coming to the lake to look for the creature. It's going to devastate the local economy. If I was on the Loch Ness chamber of commerce I'd investigate if Nessie really is dead double quick. Maybe if they find a carcass they can do some Jurassic Park cloning. I don't know. Perhaps it's unwise to build your entire economy on a mythological creature that is probably 99.9% B.S. I would like to believe that Nessie is just resting at the bottom of the lake, perhaps taking a break from all of the attention. It's like a Hollywood celebrity hounded by the paparazzi only with less cocaine.