bill-swift - February 6, 2013
Among the gross Go-Daddy and depressing Budweiser horse Super Bowl commercials was an expanded trailer for The Lone Ranger. The film stars Armie Hammer as the masked cowboy and Johnny Depp as his faithful sidekick Tonto. I'm not one to get offended on behalf of other groups but...Johnny Depp playing a stereotypical Native-American with a bird hat is pretty effed up. That aside, the movie still looks pretty crappy. The first clue is that it was made by Jerry Bruckheimer, the hack producer that brought us Armageddon and CSI: Miami. Seeing his name on a film is like a billboard that says, "Come spend your $15! It's going to suck but there will be explosions!". The tone of the film seems like it is both silly and takes itself too seriously at the same time, a bad combo. The cinematography makes the movie look like a badly shot episode of Bonanza with worse acting. Maybe I'm wrong and it will be the best movie ever, but from the trailer it looks like a pile of Silver's poop, Kemosabe.