Irina Shayk Drop Dead Pimpstress Sexy Selling Cellphones

For some time now, I've been wishing I would have followed my glorious AYSO championship season at age 8 and turned it into an international soccer career that would include global travel, big fat contracts, and hot skinny models. Models like Irina Shayk who are only available for happy happy bedroom fun for top tier athletes (and rock musicians, natch).

Irina looked devastatingly hot once again out last night in London pimping the Samsung Galaxy to millions of Brits and forcing me to retrieve my soccer ball from the garage to see if I can still bend it like Beckham. Enjoy.