bill-swift - June 4, 2013
When I graduated high school, the only people in the audience on my behalf were my mom and my aunt Meg, who was five years into anyone informing her that facial mole hairs can actually be trimmed with modern blade technology.
I know, you're shocked, but it's true, I did graduate high school. Though my guest passes were not fortunate enough to include Ireland Baldwin in a low cut dress. The recently signed professional teen model flew out to Hawaii to attend her surfer boy's high school graduation. It was a sweet gesture that mostly had me wanting to see this lucky bastard eat some coral reef or something on his next ocean venture. Not that he should die or anything, just maybe a horrible disfigurement and a radical circumcision. That ought to do the trick.
In the end, there can be only one. I mean, when Ireland turns 18, natch. Enjoy.