Jessica Simpson Big Mama Boobtastic Out for Pimping Her Scent

Jessica Simpson does not hold back when it comes to working the consumer side of her merchandise empire. No holds barred. Or funbags. The mom and recent wife and queen of all things licensed on the Target shelves has a new perfume out with some name that surely sounds powerful yet feminine, tough yet soft. Something like that. What is mostly definitely powerful yet feminine are Jessica's major league honkers on display in her advertisement for the on-sale scent. Holy big honkers. Those are some pimping hard giant sized peaches.

There's no point in questioning Jessica Simpson's business choices. She's proven herself to have a nose, and chest, for this type of work. If she believes flashing her mega cans is going to help her sell her fragrance, I am certainly not going to ask her to cover up. I wouldn't ask her that under any circumstance. Enjoy.

Julija Steponaviciute Topless Lean Hotness in Elle France

 

No relation to Edita Vilkeviciute, my future hot wife, Julija Steponaviciute is a tall, lean, super hot Lithuanian model presence of her own these days, modeling since a young teen, now in her early 20's and making a big splash in the likes of Elle France where they do love to show off hot model bare boobtastic.

And what a body it is. Julija's body seems to go on forever, which in my mind, it really actually is continuing forever and her perfect Lithuanian funbags, oh, just the absolutely righteous dessert to a hot body meal. I really think I need to start investigating this viciute family lineage in Lithuania, staring with all the 6-foot tall super hot ones. Line them up. The inspection is ready to begin! Enjoy.

Ramona Singer Nipple Pokes Are Positively Pointed in the Big Apple

I must admit, I don't know who Ramona Singer is. Or didn't know. But this Real Housewives of New York, um, housewife, or divorced housewife, or something, has at least one fan in our audience. EgoReader 'Jay' insisted we share the sight of Ramona's quite noteworthy headlights poking out of her tank top while talking to the police in New York.

I refused to learn why she's talking to the police as I refuse to watch her on Bravo! lest my manliness as mighty as it is be drained entirely from my body. However, nipple pokes I'm always down for. Not simply because of my natural reaction to turn toward oncoming headlights like a deer. But because a divorced housewives nipples are often the best indicator of the weather in the forthcoming season. I can now predict that Fall in New York will be unusually nippy. Yeah, I know. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani, The Italian Flag Swimsuit, and One Fine Thumper

I'm beginning to think Claudia Romani and her perfectly plump behind and I are getting somewhere. I received these photos in my mailbox I believe to be sent by Claudia's hind-side in order to tease me into some kind of lasting proposal. It's definitely working. I can barely move a muscle while my eyes are trained on the boot of this wicked wanton brunette from The Boot. I become paralyzed with thoughts of gentle spankings and all-over-loofah butt washes. Truly these are the happiest thoughts of my daily existence.

Someday, when society's laws have caught up to the primal lust shared between myself and Claudia Romani's killer tush, we shall become united as one with lots of candles and cheers and cheap booze we're pretending isn't so cheap. I shall wait for that day here in my Chair of Patience. But not much longer I hope. I can't stand it. Stupid chair isn't working. Enjoy.

I Saw Jaime Pressly on TVLand, Now You Get to See Jaime Pressly Topless in Playboy

 

I do miss this game. This udderly delicious turn at seeing one sextastic celebrity hottie clothed by day, or last night actually when I saw Jaime Pressly in her new TV series, Jennifer Falls. And then by day, see her in one of her exquisitely classic topless pictorials in Playboy Magazine from our friends at Playboy Plus, a site that if you don't belong, you're simply not wasting time on the Internet properly.

Jaime Pressly has been in the news of late both for her new TV show and for talk about some medical issues related to her breast health. We obviously root for all women on Egotastic!, and we obviously root a bit harder for women who are so hot they make our toes burn just from imagining them on top of us on top of hot cement. Why the cement? I'm not sure, I never question my dreams.

Jaime Pressly and oh, a thousand of her super hot celebrity model and actress nekkid friends can be had on Playboy Plus for just $5.83/month now for Egotastic! readers. If you can think of a better way to spend a few bucks a month than perusing an infinite amount of hot photo and video content of Playmates and celebrities, then I'd like to know. Okay, yes, grandma needs to eat, but outside of that, get Playboy Plus. Enjoy life a little more.

Rose McGowan Got a New Haircut and, More Importantly, a Low Cut Dress

I'm not one to comment on hairstyles. The  girls at Supercuts know me as El Big Tipper. But I do know wardrobe on a lady, so I will say I am particularly pleased with Rose McGowan and her veteran hot body choice of super low cut dress for an evening out at the Chateau Marmont.

Rose McGowan most definitely falls into my Forty and Fappable list of Hollywood mature lady wicked sextastic bodies and much of her chesty goodness was on display thanks to that little black dress in question. I couldn't think of a finer way to wardrobe the brunette actress if I was doing it myself. And, hopefully, someday, I will get that chance. I could adjust those mams like nobody's business. I always warm my hands prior to an adjustment so there's less of a shock and more of a happy tingle. On my part at least. Two thumbs up to your racktastic, Rose. Keep up the good work. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Animal Booty Hot Bikini Body for Agua Bendita

There's really nothing Irina Shayk can't make hot. Granted, bikini body and hot animal face booty posing is what she was born to do. But she could take out the trash in her heavyset sister's burqa and still give the world a solid woody. That's raw awesome power. The kind of power that makes me weak in the knees when leering at her incredibly alluring body in these Agua Bendita catalog photos for their new bikini line.

As you know, the definition of swimsuit or lingerie marketing genius is to hire Irina Shayk to model your wares and then claim yourself a wunderkind when sales go through the roof. It really is so simple. And, yet, so incredibly hot. If that shot of Irina's booty with the lupine face doesn't send you into a fit, you just don't love animals enough. Enjoy.