Humpday Huzzah! Summer St. Claire Teasy Topless Bodysuit Goodness In Some Lucky Building

 

How come I never get home to find girls the likes and form and sextastic of Summer St. Claire stripping out of their little workout things in my living room. I once came home and found the neighbor lady who has my emergency key eating all my cereal, but that's not the same. She wasn't super hot, just super high. No, it's this delicious treat of a glamour model I want to find bestowing her visual gifts with preens and poses and funbag dangling when I get home from a hard day's work. Okay, so it's not all that hard, still I would be extremely polite and appreciative and even use my fancy words around Summer. Hot topless girls deserve fancy words.

On this humpday of the week, we like to celebrate all that jiggles righteously in our hearts and minds and retinal cones that make the dreams all possible. Summer St. Claire more than fits that bill, she completes it. Huzzah!

Fabiana Semprebom Goes Sempreboom! For Despi Swimwear

Oh, Brazil, the cradle of all things bikini hot. Another bestowed gift in the form of ten year veteran model hottie Fabiana Semprebom showing off in one pieces and two pieces for Despi Swimwear.

If Fabiana doesn't have the perfect female form for modeling bikinis, than I need to go back to my drawing board. Literally, I have a board where I sketch ladies bodies in swimsuits, or less, trying to sketch out my ideal. Not that there is one single ideal. There are a thousand. And Fabiana definitely fits more than one of them. Just so hot. I think I broke my pencil. Enjoy.

Constance Nunes Bikini Hotness Smolders in Red

Constance Nunes is rising big times on the charts of girls I would allow to sexually use me over the course of what will come to be known as the best weekend of my life. This 138 Water nonsense is bringing to light a whole bunch of supremely hot bikini models that we might otherwise miss were it not for this completely unjustifiable marketing campaign. Hey, it's not our money. Or mine, which I don't have in the first place. If somebody wants to bring out hottie after super hottie to flash their ridiculously fine and tanned female form in a bikini or less for commercial pimpitude, pimp on, my friends.

Constance, you are something really special. I can only hope the next gig you book requires just a little more indiscretion. What lies beneath that bikini is far more precious than any bottled H20. It's actually the secret to a happy and content life. If only it too could be bottled. Enjoy.

Get Your Million Dollar Idea –Or An Utterly Dumbass One– From this Game Idea Generator

Whether you’re a games designer, a writer or a crazy-ass inventor, that one idea can change your life. Maybe you’ve heard J.K Rowling’s legendary anecdote, wherein Harry Potter 'strolled into her head fully-formed’ on a train journey? If you haven’t heard it, she doesn’t give a shit, because she’s richer than you.

Now, presumably you have no effs to give about Harry Potter. But even so, it’s a prime example of that breakthrough moment, the one which sets you on the path to cashtacular and groupies-amundo. But you can’t just sit scratching your balls on the couch waiting for it to happen. Asking ma to come by once a week to hose you down. Hell no. You’ve got to be proactive.

So, games designers, give this fancy new Game Idea Generator a shot. Its randomly generated, single sentence wisdom is guaranteed to set you on the right track. Or amuse you with its suckitude at the very least. Why nobody thought of some of these before is anyone’s guess. The world has been sorely missing an FPS where you rob puppies and you have to find out why. Not to mention a tycoon game where you farm nukes to make a business.

Thanks, Destructoid, some of this is great.

Sarah Hyland Portrays a Doll in Stockings (It Could Be Creepy If It Weren’t So Hot)

It took me a while to get into this kind of oddly creepy photoshoot of petite hottie Sarah Hyland posing as a doll among real dolls in this Flaunt magazine pictorial. I'm sure there's a deep message her about a bunch of social and cultural phenomenons well above my intellectual grade. And that does kind of bother me. As does the idea of Sarah being some mute toy put into a closet. Then again... there is wicked little sextastic Sarah in her stockings rolling about not unlike one or two REM sleep cycle fantasies I've had of the Modern Family ingenue.

Just so especially hot. I want to wind up her backside and see if she'll whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Or punch a couple guys and  tell them nobody puts Baby in the corner. I just feel a need to do something. I'll probably just go back to ogling. Enjoy.

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures Bring Out Her Inner Kitty

The former Real Housewives of New York or some other state star sure does bring a lot of bikinis with her on vacation. That's not a bad thing. In her mid-40's Kelly Bensimon still manages to work herself into the MILFs I'd love to friendly neighborhood boy roleplay with by bringing in her groceries and tasting her milk and cookies. Oh, yes, those cookies in particular look awfully sweet.

Kelly continues her extended beach vacation in Miami, racking up racktastic points with all the young men in the area learning to lust older ladies thanks to the likes of Kelly's boobtastic in her various colored two piece swimsuits. Think of her as an educator. Or just a naughty teacher as I am right now. She does make my imagination run a bit wild. Enjoy.

The Mythbusters Break ‘Titanfall’ With Badassery and High Explosives (VIDEO)

Titanfall IGN
Some fancy, explodey tricks there.

We’ve been getting our Titanfall on for almost two months now, and we’re getting pretty darn adept at it. When it comes to stomping tiny man-face into the asphalt in big ol’ angry mechs, we know our shit.

Or so we thought. Turns out, there’s all manner of rumors/theories/assorted BS about the game. There are conspiracy theories everywhere. Remember the Lara Croft boobtastic that was allegedly hidden away in Tomb Raider 2? It’s like that, but far less arousing for our younger selves (stop judging, at that point piss-poor pixelated triangle tits were the only kind we’d ever seen).

So, anywho, back to the point. In the name of ACTUAL SCIENCE, DefendTheHouse have tried out some of these claims for themselves. Can you really eject to safety while falling off the map? Do you run faster when adorned with specter camo? Can you destroy the evac ship after it’s escaped to space, like a callous badass with no effs to give? You’ll have to check out the clip above.

Via Kotaku.