Angie Heyward Joins Naked News; You Get To See Her On Naked News for One-Week Free!

 

I know, I'm awesome. I had a cousin who told me that once. Not so remarkable save for it's the only instance of a blood relative ever complimenting me. And that was only after I sent her twenty bucks via Paypal to purchase medical marijuana for her 20-something cataracts. Anyhow, that's besides that point. I am once again completely awesome as I have convinced the good folks at Naked News to give EgoReaders a one-week free viewing period for Naked News since Angie Heyward is now available in the raw hot news giving flesh. I'm not going to call it a must see, even though, yeah, it is.

Holy Cannolis Angie Heyward in her nekkid entertainment news clips!
Double Holy Cannolis Naked News Free For One Week!

For those that don't know, Naked News is a completely legit news organization with daily programs on Hollywood, music, pop culture, and events of the day with hot anchors who get completely naked. It's Entertainment Tonight, except Mary Hart is butt naked. Sure, you can keep watching boring depressing news on TV, or you can watch sexy naked girls delivering the news and occasionally going nude bowling or nude aerobics. That tough choice is up to you, young Padawan. Enjoy.

Devin Brugman and Natasha Oakley Bosom Bikini Buddies For Your Menage-A-Ta-Ta Fantsies

At last, my two imaginary young girlfriends are together in Miami on the beach in their bikinis. We've been staring at both Devin Brugman and Natasha Oakley individually this week along the beach in their perfectly fitting bikinis. That is their job after all. Finally, we get a chance to see the two bodacious besties together in their two piece bits of revealing finery. The whole of the sextastic really is greater than the sum of its parts when these two ladies form the supremely hot bread in the Egotastic! sandwich. Yes, read that as me being the meat. I shall suffer thusly for my art.

Sometimes, I just don't know what's wrong with this world. But I always know what's right. Two hot girls pimping bikinis with their very own perfectly fine bodies. That's most definitely right. Now, let's get down to that sandwich making. Enjoy.

Lucy Collett Topless Black Panties Striptease for Ginger Snapping Happy Times

 

Lucy Collett just seems like she'd be a fun gal to have on a summer road trip. Especially when I announced the topless only rules for my car. I bet she wouldn't balk at that rule. Or the one where we take turns sitting on the driver's lap and she's the only passenger. Your turn again, Lucy. Beg my ungentlemanly thoughts, but Lucy and her ginger topped sweet topless body tends to make prurient thoughts race through my head like greyhounds chasing a rabbit. Only, I don't want to eat the rabbit, I want to rub it all over with hot baby oil then tickle it with feathers. I don't know, maybe the greyhounds really want to do that too. I can't read dog minds.

Lucy, you are my sweet teated treat. I have been fond of you through think and skin. I think that's how the expression goes. Someday, we shall be together and the sounds of our merry giggles shall be matched only by the primal screams of our passions. And that's just the first date. Call me, let's make this happen. My iPhone informs me my calendar is open until as far as the calendar goes. Enjoy.

Well, We Might as Well Watch the Trailer for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ Right?

I think she's doing that hot yoga everyone is talking about

Despite what Charlie Hunnam had to say earlier this week about Fifty Shades of Grey (which he's not even in) not being mommy porn, you know and I know that it most definitely is mommy porn. And that's okay, because—NEWSFLASH!—sex is awesome. Ergo, all books about sex—even books written exclusively for women that have characters named Anastasia Steele—are also awesome.

Now, does that mean the Fifty Shades of Grey movie will be awesome, too? Absolutely not. But the first trailer, which for some reason made its debut on the Today show this morning, doesn't look half bad. There's a little smooching, a little under-the-table fondling, a little blindfolding, a little horse cropping, a little stripping, a little handcuffing and, yes, even a little writhing.

In short, there are worse things you could do with the next two and a half minutes of your life. So have a look and then set an alarm on your phone to remind you to get tickets in advance. The movie hits theaters on Valentines Day 2015 (there's a shock), and whoever you're taking out that night is going to want to see it.

Lacey Banghard Chests Up to Sam Cooke for Game on in Boobtastic Battle Mode

 

I love it when the girls get together for a little flouncy funbag in your face time. It's the world's least violent and most arousing competition we like to call the Battle of the Boobtastic. Two lovely ladies, four faptastic chestal fineries. One will walk away with the prize package of my earnest appreciation and un-ending desire while the other will walk away with pretty much the same.

I don't play favorites. But in the contest of summer melons betwixt Lacey Banghard and Sam Cooke, you must do that very thing. In your talented and experienced opinion, between these two ladies of my dreams, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lacey Banghard vs. Sam Cooke

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The New Batfleck Cowl from ‘Batman v Superman’ Is on Display at Comic-Con 2014

As you may know, 2014 marks the 75th anniversary of the first ever appearance of Batman in Detercitve Comics #27. And given how the Caped Crusader is one of the most famous fictional characters of the 20th and 21st centuries, it makes complete sense that DC Comics would be making a big deal about it.

Of course, they could have celebrated Batman's 75th back in May, which was the actual month Batman made his debut. However, when you think about it, it makes much more sense to wait for the world's biggest celebration of comic books—Comic-Con—which started today in San Diego.

So how is DC Comics celebrating the Dark Knight's 75th birthday at Comic-Con? Well, there are numerous things planned, including something big having to do with Batman v Superman scheduled for Saturday night. But the Batman b-day tribute that caught everybody's attention right away today is a display of all the various crusader costumes, capes, and cowls from over the year. And the reason it's so notable is that it includes the newest cowl which we'll see on Batfleck in the aforementioned Zack Snyder flick.

Of course, we've already seen a photo of Ben Affleck wearing the cowl. But this gives us a much better look, and as the astute folks over at Screen Rant pointed out, there are a couple of interesting things about this.

First, though it's not blue and grey as some people had hoped, it's still much more comic-booky than the Christopher Nolan Batman. And second, it seems that Batman will once again be unable to turn his head. (Remember, how that was one of the modifications Christian Bale asked Morgan Freeman to make to his suit?)

Fascinating stuff, huh nerds?

Selena Gomez Hot Legs and Panties Peek at St. Tropez Gala

Leonardo Dicaprio launched his new wildlife foundation with a bang, that bang coming mostly from Selena Gomez showing up looking like a million damn dollars to his St. Tropez gala. Selena has been in the news aplenty of late. Bikinis, lesbionic scandals, Bieber umpteenth breakups. But through it all, I like to keep in mind that Selena Gomez will always be my little Latina diva hottie.

If I needed any reminder of that, I need only look at those super toned legs whose length seems to defy her very height. Not to mention a peek at her panties in a very grown up dress as she moved from yacht to party like a true A-list movie star. You know this talk of her Sapphic leanings only makes me want her more. That's how I roll. Selena, please come to my place in that high slit dress and we shall roll together. Enjoy.