Humor

How To Have Cybersex Circa 1997

News | August 4, 2014, 1:13 pm

How To Have Cybersex Circa 1997

Kids today have access to all kinds of filth that those of us that grew up in the 90's could only dream about. There were no webcams, Pornhubs, or sexting back then. You used to have to go to specially designated porn emporiums to buy your smut. You could chat with "hot girls" on 976 numbers but it cost... Read More

For the Horngy: Peaches in Panties

News | August 4, 2014, 10:00 am

For the Horngy: Peaches in Panties

You've thought it for years, but let me tell you: you weren't the only one. Peaches are delicious in more ways than one, and the fact that they look like tiny little asses give the fruit an unusually fun twist. Which brings us to the clever marketing tactic a vendor in Nanjing, China employed as he tried... Read More

Tara Reid Releases

News | August 1, 2014, 11:57 am

Tara Reid Releases "Sharknado" Perfume

Tara Reid is milking every last dollar from her recent unprecedented comeback in the Sharknado movies by releasing a new perfume called Shark. One might ask what a perfume based on a movie about sharks in tornadoes might smell like. Will it smell like rotting fish and aerial shark terror? Will it have... Read More

Foria Cannabis Spray: Get High When You Go Down

News | August 1, 2014, 10:00 am

Foria Cannabis Spray: Get High When You Go Down

Flavored rubber has been a while now. Flavored lube? Nuh-uh. It took a while but some folks finally came up with something to even up the playing field: cannabis-flavored spray for down under. It's made up of a mix of cannabis and coconut oil that makes the entire love-making process even more pleasurable... Read More

A GoPro, A Hula Hoop, And The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

News | July 31, 2014, 12:11 pm

A GoPro, A Hula Hoop, And The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

GoPros are fun little cameras that you can put into all kinds of weird scenarios. You can put them on a drone, a helmet, a bike, or just strap it to your head. But the Cowboys, much to my chagrin, came up with easily the best use for a GoPro that has ever been thought up. They attached it to a hula hoop... Read More

Two Drunk Russians Are the New Street Fighters (VIDEO)

News | July 31, 2014, 10:00 am

Two Drunk Russians Are the New Street Fighters (VIDEO)

When you're drunk, don't make the mistake of being caught on camera. Why? Because the internet can be pretty cruel to dudes who drink and act like douches while the camera's are rolling. Case in point: these two drunk-ass Russians who got the Street Fighter treatment because they can't hold in their... Read More

On Justin Bieber's Facial Hair

News | July 29, 2014, 11:10 am

On Justin Bieber's Facial Hair

I remember when I was eleven years old a dirty smudge of facial hair appeared above my lip. Yes, I was eleven. I come from Cuban/Jewish stock which are the two greatest beard growing ethnicities of all time. Anyway, my grandfather immediately taught me how to shave because I looked like a trailer trash... Read More

So You Can Make Your Own Homemade Fleshlight...

News | July 29, 2014, 10:00 am

So You Can Make Your Own Homemade Fleshlight...

At this point in time, you probably already know what a Fleshlight is. It's a strange gizmo that doesn't necessarily resemble a flashlight. Well, it has a similar shape, but the similarities end there. You see, the Fleshlight can't illuminate anything when you find yourself in the dark, because it's... Read More

Spiderman Punches A Cop

News | July 28, 2014, 12:45 pm

Spiderman Punches A Cop

Times are tough in New York City, even for Spiderman. But that's no excuse to go punching cops. For like the 80 millionth time this year, one of the costumed weirdos that harass tourists in Times Square got into a fight with passersby. Apparently, it all started when Spiderman wanted $5 instead of $1... Read More

Check Out This Real-Life Fruit Ninja Slicing Up Some Lemons (VIDEO)

News | July 28, 2014, 10:00 am

Check Out This Real-Life Fruit Ninja Slicing Up Some Lemons (VIDEO)

A lot of people have tried but failed to take the title of Real-Life Fruit Ninja. A lot of fruits were sacrificed in the process, but it looks like we've finally found the one in the form of this dude. He slices lemons as if there's no tomorrow and keeps going at it like a fruit-slashing monster--exactly... Read More

Watch Because He Doesn't Do This Often: Morgan Freeman on Helium (VIDEO)

News | July 25, 2014, 10:00 am

Watch Because He Doesn't Do This Often: Morgan Freeman on Helium (VIDEO)

Morgan Freeman is the shiz. He's an awesome actor and an overall good person. He's been in a ton of movies, he's played a wide range of roles, and he was in The Dark Knight Rises. Oh, and he played God too. Enough said. So Morgan breathing in helium and chatting away as if everything's all dandy... Read More

On Leo DiCaprio's Chub

News | July 25, 2014, 7:47 am

On Leo DiCaprio's Chub

Leonardo DiCaprio hasn't been looking like himself lately. In fact, he's been looking kinda...thick. Not like needs to ride a Rascal scooter because his legs can't hold him up fat, but definitely chubby for him. A lot of people in the press have been giving him flack because he no longer looks like Jack... Read More

Sad But True: No Choice Frozen Dinners Commercial (VIDEO)

News | July 24, 2014, 10:00 am

Sad But True: No Choice Frozen Dinners Commercial (VIDEO)

Frozen dinners suck. They don't belong on any segment on that food pyramid because you're basically eating a tray of processed schmuck that you probably shouldn't. Heck, just go for fastfood if you must. Unfortunately, with busy lifestyles and the ricing price of gas, eating a package or two of these... Read More