Humor

Behold The Krispy Kreme Donut Dog

News | March 12, 2015, 1:58 pm

Behold The Krispy Kreme Donut Dog

I've struggled with my weight my entire life. It's hard to resist eating like crap when you are used to it. My body cries out for cheeseburgers as much as a junkie's does for heroin. But I want to lose weight so that I won't drop dead of a heart attack at 45. But I guess not all people feel that... Read More

Genuine Mexicans Try Taco Bell For The First Time

News | March 11, 2015, 11:47 am

Genuine Mexicans Try Taco Bell For The First Time

I grew up in Texas eating real Mexican food from hole in the wall taquerias by people who have questionable citizenship status. I spent the first four years of my life in Guadalajara. So, even though I'm Cuban I would say I know a thing or two about real authentic Mexican food. But it doesn't take... Read More

Holy Lox And Bagels, It's Jewish Batman!

News | March 9, 2015, 2:35 pm

Holy Lox And Bagels, It's Jewish Batman!

There's an old joke that all the big superheroes are Jewish. You know, Spiderman, Batman, Superman with the man pronounced like Lieberman. But it's not true is it. No, most superheroes are WASPs. Lucky for the people of Tel Aviv there is a new kosher hero to defend the holy land. His name is Moshe... Read More

"The Dress" Gay Erotica. Yes, Really.

News | March 6, 2015, 12:06 pm

"The Dress" Gay Erotica. Yes, Really.

Last week something strange happened to everyone on Earth. People became obsessed with a divicive issue of weather and ugly dress was white and gold or blue and black. People argued, friendships destroyed, and marriages wrecked over whether or not the dress was the color that it obviously is. Well,... Read More

Today In Japanese Perversion: Talking Girlfriend Pillow

News | March 5, 2015, 12:15 pm

Today In Japanese Perversion: Talking Girlfriend Pillow

I love a good pillow. There is nothing finer than a nice fluffy pillow late at night after a long day for you to rest your weary head upon. But while it's alright to like a pillow it is not OK to LOVE a pillow. Tell that to Koichi Uchimura. He invented the talking girlfriend pillow. It's essentially... Read More

How Long Would You Survive The Zombocalypse?

News | March 4, 2015, 10:47 am

How Long Would You Survive The Zombocalypse?

Some sciency guys at Cornell University set up a zombie apocalypse simulator to estimate how quickly a zombie plague would spread. It's bad news for anyone who lives in a big city. I, for example, live in New York City where there are thousands of people in every square block and 9+ million people... Read More

Batman Hotel Room Rents By The Hour

News | March 3, 2015, 2:02 pm

Batman Hotel Room Rents By The Hour

It is a fact that Batman is the greatest superhero of all time. Who hasn't fantasized about donning the cowl and going out into the night to beat up criminals and use all those amazing gadgets? I know I have. I mean, I'm not saying that Bruce Wayne had it easy what with the whole his parents being... Read More

Guy Tests The Mentos/Coke Experiment

News | March 2, 2015, 12:35 pm

Guy Tests The Mentos/Coke Experiment

When I was in high school, a science teacher got bored and decided to show us what happens when you combine Mentos, (the freshmaker), and Diet Coke. It causes a mini-explosion of soda that made a huge mess of the school lawn. It has something to do with the carbon dioxide reacting to something or... Read More

"Whiplash" Starring Animal

News | February 27, 2015, 12:26 pm

"Whiplash" Starring Animal

One of the sleeper hits of last year was the jazz drumming teacher and pupil tale of Whiplash. The great JK Simmons won the Oscar for his portrayal of the dictatorial drum teacher. I thought jazz was all about, like, being cool, man? Apparently not. It's about screaming and being belittled I guess.... Read More

The Disturbing Rise In "Hillbilly Porn"

News | February 26, 2015, 1:32 pm

The Disturbing Rise In "Hillbilly Porn"

There is a rising trend in pornography: hillbilly porn. Instead of the usual bevy of coked out blonds with fake boobies from California, these fine films feature rednecks from the South and Appalachia. It's no wonder with the popularity of shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Swamp People celebrating... Read More

NYPD Using "Road House" As Training Video

News | February 25, 2015, 12:13 pm

NYPD Using "Road House" As Training Video

I have a masters degree in film and media and I can tell you from a place of authority that the Patrick Swayze film Road House is one of the greatest movies ever made. the tale of a sensitive philosophical bouncer at a bar in rural bumeff America changed the way we live our lives. So, it's not a... Read More

Elsa From "Frozen" Gets Arrested

News | February 24, 2015, 11:56 am

Elsa From "Frozen" Gets Arrested

You know what sucks? Winter. Where I am in New York City it is currently 9 degrees. 9 effing degrees, y'all. If only there were a single person that you could blame for all of this ball freezing cold. There is. The police in Harlan Kentucky arrested Queen Elsa of Arendelle for making everything...well...frozen.... Read More

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: "The Possession"

News | February 23, 2015, 4:19 pm

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: "The Possession"

Most movies that deal with demonic possession have a Catholic perspective. The archetype set up by The Exorcist has a priest, usually a Jesuit, come to expel whatever demon is possessing the afflicted. But the Catholics aren't the only ones that have exorcism rituals. In Judaism there is also a tradition... Read More

Can Porn Stars Really Act?

News | February 20, 2015, 12:49 pm

Can Porn Stars Really Act?

I was a theater major in college and acted in dozens of plays throughout my life. One of the techniques that separates a real actor from an amateur is the ability to make yourself cry on command. It's not easy but with proper training and concentration it can be done. But what about porn stars? They... Read More

Happy Ninja Day

News | February 19, 2015, 2:59 pm

Happy Ninja Day

Who were the most awesome warriors ever in the history of ever? Ninjas. The shadow clan of master assassins terrorized medieval Japan for centuries. Japan sought to honor these spies and killers in the night from their past by making today Ninja Day. I've honored their memory by watching a couple... Read More