Humor

On Justin Bieber's Facial Hair

News | July 29, 2014, 11:10 am

On Justin Bieber's Facial Hair

I remember when I was eleven years old a dirty smudge of facial hair appeared above my lip. Yes, I was eleven. I come from Cuban/Jewish stock which are the two greatest beard growing ethnicities of all time. Anyway, my grandfather immediately taught me how to shave because I looked like a trailer trash... Read More

So You Can Make Your Own Homemade Fleshlight...

News | July 29, 2014, 10:00 am

So You Can Make Your Own Homemade Fleshlight...

At this point in time, you probably already know what a Fleshlight is. It's a strange gizmo that doesn't necessarily resemble a flashlight. Well, it has a similar shape, but the similarities end there. You see, the Fleshlight can't illuminate anything when you find yourself in the dark, because it's... Read More

Spiderman Punches A Cop

News | July 28, 2014, 12:45 pm

Spiderman Punches A Cop

Times are tough in New York City, even for Spiderman. But that's no excuse to go punching cops. For like the 80 millionth time this year, one of the costumed weirdos that harass tourists in Times Square got into a fight with passersby. Apparently, it all started when Spiderman wanted $5 instead of $1... Read More

Check Out This Real-Life Fruit Ninja Slicing Up Some Lemons (VIDEO)

News | July 28, 2014, 10:00 am

Check Out This Real-Life Fruit Ninja Slicing Up Some Lemons (VIDEO)

A lot of people have tried but failed to take the title of Real-Life Fruit Ninja. A lot of fruits were sacrificed in the process, but it looks like we've finally found the one in the form of this dude. He slices lemons as if there's no tomorrow and keeps going at it like a fruit-slashing monster--exactly... Read More

Watch Because He Doesn't Do This Often: Morgan Freeman on Helium (VIDEO)

News | July 25, 2014, 10:00 am

Watch Because He Doesn't Do This Often: Morgan Freeman on Helium (VIDEO)

Morgan Freeman is the shiz. He's an awesome actor and an overall good person. He's been in a ton of movies, he's played a wide range of roles, and he was in The Dark Knight Rises. Oh, and he played God too. Enough said. So Morgan breathing in helium and chatting away as if everything's all dandy... Read More

On Leo DiCaprio's Chub

News | July 25, 2014, 7:47 am

On Leo DiCaprio's Chub

Leonardo DiCaprio hasn't been looking like himself lately. In fact, he's been looking kinda...thick. Not like needs to ride a Rascal scooter because his legs can't hold him up fat, but definitely chubby for him. A lot of people in the press have been giving him flack because he no longer looks like Jack... Read More

Sad But True: No Choice Frozen Dinners Commercial (VIDEO)

News | July 24, 2014, 10:00 am

Sad But True: No Choice Frozen Dinners Commercial (VIDEO)

Frozen dinners suck. They don't belong on any segment on that food pyramid because you're basically eating a tray of processed schmuck that you probably shouldn't. Heck, just go for fastfood if you must. Unfortunately, with busy lifestyles and the ricing price of gas, eating a package or two of these... Read More

Wonderfully Horrible Netflix Instant Films:

News | July 23, 2014, 10:32 am

Wonderfully Horrible Netflix Instant Films: "Left Behind"

I grew up on Growing Pains. The adventures of the Seaver clan was a daily staple in my life. The breakout heartthrob of the series was the eldest teenage son, Kirk Cameron. He was on the cover of Tiger Beat almost every month. I remember my cousin having a picture of him over her bed. Somewhere along... Read More

For the Booze: Dude Pours Booze With His Forehead (VIDEO)

News | July 23, 2014, 10:00 am

For the Booze: Dude Pours Booze With His Forehead (VIDEO)

There are many tricks in a beer connoisseur's book. An unusual one in a dude named William's book is this: pouring booze using his forehead. No limbs, no other contraptions, and other stuff. Just his ol' forehead, a bit of patience, and a whole lot of balance. Are you saying I can't do this? Are you?... Read More

Weird Crap The Sell On Coupon Sites:

News | July 22, 2014, 11:44 am

Weird Crap The Sell On Coupon Sites: "Decorative Margarita Glass Bug Zapper"

What's the worst part of summer barbecues? The mosquitos, amiright? These blood sucking pests show up and ruin any party. It doesn't matter how many citronella candels you put out, the little bastards keep coming. The answer might be a bug zapper. Not only is it an effective bug killer it also becomes... Read More

This is the Life: Urban Surfing in San Francisco (VIDEO)

News | July 22, 2014, 10:00 am

This is the Life: Urban Surfing in San Francisco (VIDEO)

You surf on water, not on land, not on concrete, and certainly not on a road in San Francisco. I mean, come on: a water slide in the middle of the city? When's something like this ever going to happen again? These dudes and dudettes got to experience the surrealness of the whole thing as they jump... Read More

Today In Japanese Perversion: Old Male School Girl

News | July 21, 2014, 1:20 pm

Today In Japanese Perversion: Old Male School Girl

The Japanese are the greatest cosplayers on Earth. That's because unlike a lot of the dorks here in the U.S. that do it, every day people in Japan regularly dress in costumes. One of the most popular is Seifuku, which is the sailor-type school girl uniform favored by young prepubescent girls and Sailor... Read More

Hollywood Destroys Your Childhood In New TMNT Trailer

News | July 18, 2014, 1:10 pm

Hollywood Destroys Your Childhood In New TMNT Trailer

The Hollywood craptacular complex continues to mine your childhood for things to destroy in the latest trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake. My biggest gripe is with the design of the turtles themselves. They look like giant 7 foot tall green turds. I'm not saying that the Ninja Turtles... Read More

Everyday Football Fouls: Real-Life Flopping (VIDEO)

News | July 18, 2014, 10:00 am

Everyday Football Fouls: Real-Life Flopping (VIDEO)

Athletes flop in games all the time, especially if it means getting one for the team. Basketball is where a lot of it happens, but as we've all seen at the recently-concluded FIFA World Cup, it happens a lot in football (or soccer, if you're from a place where it's called that) as well. Good floppers... Read More

Noriega Sues Activision Over

News | July 17, 2014, 10:42 am

Noriega Sues Activision Over "Call Of Duty: Black Ops II"

Manuel Noriega has sued Activision for its portrayal of him in their game Call of Duty: Black Ops II. Yes, THAT Manuel Noriega. The brutal murdering dictator who ruled Panama with an iron fist. The same Noriega that was deposed by the U.S. military in 1989 and has been imprisoned ever since. It seems... Read More