jhanson - February 27, 2017
BuzzFeed and Huffington Post food blogger, Harvard graduate, and avid running enthusiast Jane Seo was busted for cheating on a half marathon by a guy who runs an obsessive NSA style website called MarathonInvestigation.com. Half marathon. Typical lazy lefty blogger. Apparently cheating on marathons is pretty common in a culture of narcissists looking for shortcuts. It's not at all surprising. Every chick out there has probably met a guy who claims to be a musician but actually means he's unlocked the secret songs in Guitar Hero.
The no doubt hoot of an investigator, Derek Murphy, used some cutting edge technology to zoom in on Seo's GPS tracking watch in her photo accepting her second place ribbon. It clearly read 11.65 miles, which is well short of the 13.1 mile course. Assuming she ran the whole course, it was also pointed out that her pace increased dramatically towards the end of the race, which is extremely uncommon. It is unclear if she took a shit in her shorts while running, because this is also common and means marathon runners are merely really skinny pigs.
After she was discovered to be lying, Seo posted an apology on Instagram which she then deleted. Her Twitter account now features only one tweet, which is her referring to Perez Hilton as a "has-been hack" She actually used the word hack. That's rich. Her apology does admit guilt, but also makes a few excuses:
"I made a HORRIBLE choice at the Ft. Lauderdale Half Marathon on Sunday, February 20. I wasn't feeling well so I CUT THE COURSE and headed to the finish line. Even worse, not only did I steal the award from the true, well-deserved runners/finishers, but also proceeded to BIKE the course afterward with my GPS watch to cover my wrong doings. What an idiot I was!"
She wasn't feeling well. Please factor that in if you're thinking about judging her. Like if some guy is arrested for molesting an entire class of kindergarteners, maybe he ate some bad Thai. It was pointed out by marathon investigator and probable neighborhood watch captain Derek Murphy that Seo doubled down on her lie after being caught, and even retraced the course on a bike to get the correct GPS data. She also showed up to the award ceremony to collect her 2nd place award.
It's unclear if Seo will face any additional backlash, or if she would have admitted to cheating had she not been caught red handed. It's also unclear if she's cheated her way through life. Surely this can't be an isolated incident. She'll most likely go dark for a week and then continue getting paid to type trite passages about meals she has eaten. Hopefully she'll recover, we can't afford to lose the food pics.
Photo Credit: MarathonInvestigations.com
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