How ‘Twilight’ Ruined Vampire Hunting

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bill-swift - April 13, 2012

Vampires are real and living in India. A story broke out of the subcontinent today that is very disconcerting. Officials around the town of Dharmapuri have set the equivalent of a $2000 bounty for dead vampires. The people in the area are scared to go out at night because they are afraid that the local vampires, the Ratha Katarri, will kill them. The worst thing that happens in my neighborhood is that the skateboard kids that hang out by the McDonald's are annoying.

The officials say they don't really believe there are vampires lurking around. They are doing it so that the frightened superstitious peasants calm down. Forget for a second that they are encouraging a poverty stricken group of people to hunt a creature that looks like a human for money. Let's ignore the fact that it's almost a guarantee that some human is going to get a stake through the heart. No, the real problem is Twilight.

Why? Because the Twilight series has made vampires seem dreamy and attractive. "Oh, they aren't dangerous and evil. They just glitter and fall in love with horse-faced girls." Bullhockey! They are undead creatures that are damned to walk the Earth for eternity feasting on the blood of the living. Twilight has been shown in India, and those poor peasants think that it's going to be a breeze to drive a wooden stake into the heart of a Robert Pattinson type. My 4-year-old niece could kill that guy. No, I'm afraid that these misinformed folks will become dinner for the walking dead. Shame on you Stephanie Meyer. How do you sleep at night? Probably on a bed of money.

Via Deccan Chronicle.

Article By Jack Tomas >

Tagged in: humor , twilight ,

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