Hottest of the Hot: Abigail Ratchford, My Common Law Wife! (VIDEO)

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bill-swift - September 24, 2016


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I'm feeling a tad bit inspired today. Also, I'm smelling something like a cherry Jell-O. It's pervasive. I'll just assume this is my entry into dementia. It was inevitable. If I have but one or two mammaries to take with me into my eventual stupor, I pray for the funbags of Abigail Ratchford, my Pennsylvania Dutch Common Law wife.

Sure, I do all the cooking and cleaning and rearing of the livestock, and sure Abigail doesn't come around like she used to, and she didn't used to, but I'd say our relationship is stronger than ever. Mostly through photos, and this epic video I commissioned from the Michalangelo of funbags of our times. Let this teach us all a lesson in really focusing on what's important in life. Honoring your parents, being an amazing friend, and Ratchford ratchets. OMG as the girls who don't like hooters as much as I do say. Enjoy. 

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