Hottest Arrivals At 2017 Victoria’s Secret Show Viewing Party In NYC

So many women, so few I'm able to identify! Just kidding, I can't identify any of them. I think one of them is Bella Hadid. That's a person, right? Maybe there's a Madison Hutchinson in the bunch. A Vivica Masterson even? How about a Genevieve Genevievison? These are all real women, I believe, and they're all super hot. 

Who's that coming down the pink carpet? Why it's celebutante Alyssa Acrimony. She's looking hot this year. And who's that I spy coming up behind her? That's right kids, it's Stefanie Microtel, heiress to the Microtel fortune and star of no less than six sex tapes with seven different guys. Go figure!

Oh, and here comes the star of the show, Victoria Secretes. That's right folks, this woman took an unfortunate last name and turned it into a lingerie goldmine. It's the way of the world and the way of the future. And don't forget to check out all the other hot models I forgot to mention like Sondra Lockheart, Tallulah Principato, and the many, many others I am completely and totally unable to identify. We salute you faceless millions whose names will never stick in my head, no matter what.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Pacific Coast News