Holy Hot Nannies — Jennifer Lopez Has a Wet Nurse (At Least, I’m Feeling Moist)

Yep, this is J-Lo's nanny. We found her bouncing around Miami Beach with the twins in tow.

I don't know about you, but when I was a kid and my mom wanted to go run to the package store or maybe play the ponies, I got left with Uncle Stephen, who I surmised wasn't a real uncle at all by the fact that Uncle Stephen routinely had 20-30 nieces and nephews running about his trailer park home and his supposed relatives kept slipping him fivers to let the kids run wild for a few minutes, hours, or days, depending on the mom's inclinations. That damn place was like Lord of the Flies meets Oz. I do not recall any hot brunettes with big bazoongas holding my hand on the beach while mom was away. I just remember learning how to turn shoelaces into weapons and that you had to pay a quarter to a kid name Rico to use the bathroom with the toilet paper.

The silver lining however is appreciation. While J-Lo's little boy will never find a woman that makes him feel like funbag faptastic nanny does, to this day I feel an all over warmth any time a woman with most of her natural teeth gives me a smile.