chris-littlechild - August 28, 2014
Well, yes, that Mercedes DLC was kind of a ballache. But fear not. If you've ever wanted to see Link wang a red shell into Mario's exhaust pipe (and that's not a sex thing, but is probably readily available in the seedier corners of the Internet), or race as that dead-eyed boy-freak villager from Animal Crossing, your prayers have been answered.
And you totally have wanted both of these things. Don't try to BS us on that.
Anywho, feast your eyes on the hero of Hyrule's spangly new wheels. Two DLC packs for Mario Kart 8 have been announced, continuing Nintendo's relentless campaign to cajole every drop of cashtacular they can from their biggest franchises. We never thought we'd see Mr. Zelda getting his kart on, but when the dollar signs are in fancy-ass Asian businessmen's eyes, anything is possible.
The two packs are named --so that nobody shits their pants in confusion-- Pack 1 and Pack 2. The first will be available from November, and offers Link, Cat Peach and Tanooki Mario. The second, next May, includes Dry Bowser, the Animal Crossing villager and Isabelle (his dumbass puppy secretary). Along with the characters, new franchise-themed tracks and vehicles will be included. A Blue Falcon kart, you say? We're on board.