Holiday Buyer’s Guide for the Egotastic! Man

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bill-swift - December 21, 2012

(Photo credit: Matthew Wardenaar)

We like gifts. All of us. We know this because we give you photos, snark and videos featuring the hottest women and celebrities every single day and you all keep coming back. It's like a permanent gift-giving extravaganza around here. And so with the holidays upon us we present the Holiday Buyer's Guide for the Egotastic! Man. Email blast this link to everybody in your life and watch the goods roll in.

Oh yeah, and we called in a favor from our buddy Kyra Santoro (be sure to say hello to Kyra on Twitter) for this project because we needed a top notch naughty-but-cute Mrs Claus/holiday elf. We're still not sure which yet because that's part of the favor we owe her. Somebody's got to be the elf.

Use the gallery above for more shots and more info on the products featured below.

DeLeon "Leona" Tequila Reserva - $825

This is the tequila Rock and Roll Hall of Famers would drink exclusively…if they could get it. The "Leona" package from DeLeon Tequila comes out December 21 but that doesn't mean you can't throw down your $800 now to get the high-art concept bottle, a python skin flask and handcrafted carrying/display case. And yeah, you read right: that's 100% python skin wrapped around that flask. You'll know how cool you look slamming a python-wrapped flask of DeLeon's top shelf tequila? We're talking Motley Crue-backstage-at-the-MTV-awards-in-the-late-1980s cool.  If it's lights out on the world  December 21, then just pray for the safe arrival of your Leona bottle the day before. The world owes you that much.

Remix Watches Prism Pack -$395.99

I was lucky to have a pair of shoes that matched each other let alone the high water pants and velour tops I wore as a kid. So this idea of Remix Watches --where you can mix and match the silicon straps and interchangeable analog watch faces-- seems like a bit of high brow fashion that's just foreign to me. What I do know is that with the full Prism Pack, where you pay for 10 colors in the Remix Watch lineup and get the Carolina Blue strap and watch for free, you'll have every color you could possibly need for your wardrobe. I mean, this gift pack includes pink, electric green and orange colorways for those who like to rock that LMFAO look every day. For those who want to go with their school colors, mix and matching black, grey, white and the primary colors should cover SEC, PAC-12 and Big 10 schools with no problem. Ivy leaguers will have to keep waiting for the Wall Street Green strap and face.

Sony PS3 PULSE Wireless Headset - $149.99

Instead of throwing your favorite hip hop act's name on a set of headphone cans and charging $300 because they're supposedly cool, what about the idea of making those things functional and useful and charging a lot less so people can actually go get ‘em? Sony's top of the line Pulse headphones for 2012 connect via Bluetooth to your Playstation 3 and will rock you eardrums with explosions, happy songs and alien gibberish in glorious 7.1 virtual surround sound. Going from video game dynamo back to regular life? Keep these headphones on to listen to your beats by Andre Young, Kanye West or anybody else because the BassImpact, along with the super comfortable around-the-ear design, will make it sound like there's a drunk gorilla in combat boots trying to climb out of your brain. You haven't enjoyed Siri on your iPhone until you've talked with her on BassImpact with these headphones.

SoundFreaq Sound Stack - $399.99 ***

The wireless home speaker battles of the last few years have been great for consumers. The tech has advanced at an amazing rate so we're getting more for our music dollar than ever before. The Sound Stack charges your iOS device while playing, takes optical and 1/8 inch audio inputs and fires a ton of bass out of the back of the unit (like your Uncle Lou after a plate of beans and cabbage, but better). Beyond just volume and skipping tracks, the remote control let's you pair, connect and switch between connected devices with ease. This box holds a special place in our hearts too because only Egotastic users can get a bonus Sound Kick unit with the purchase of any Sound Stack. That's right. When you forward this guide to your Uncle Lou, all that beer-soaked loser has to do is buy from any of the links in this Sound Stack write up and Soundfreaq will send you a Sound Stack and a Sound Kick. The Kick is like the Stack except it's smaller, battery powered and designed to fit into a backpack, glove compartment or man-purse if you roll like that.

(*** Egotastic! Exclusive - bonus Sound Kick with each purchase)

MOGA Controller - $49.99

The MOGA Controller for Android is the coolest thing I didn't know I wanted until I saw it. As advanced as touchscreen games have become, analog sticks and buttons will always be a better way to control on-screen action that requires quick reflexes and precision skills. MOGA gives you those sticks and buttons (including shoulder buttons) and easily let's you physically mount your Android phone (wait, what?), for a seamless gaming experience that just works quickly and intuitively via Bluetooth. The Dark Knight Returns was mobile-only (and the only game associated with that blockbuster) and is way better with some buttons and sticks to control the action. Of course it's another piece of hardware to carry but it's only intended for those who play games on their big screen Android phones (No flip phoners and f*** yo couch, iOS!). If you're going to play games on your phone--including a whole slate of upcoming games specifically intended to be used with MOGA-- then do it right.

Grand Theft Auto V - $59.99

"Wait, Grand Theft Auto V is out now?" you say. "No, lemon lame, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this if it was," I say. Then, because you're the sensitive type, you'd get all pouty and claim that I shouldn't hold your ignorance against you. Then , feeling guilty, I'd explain that you can and should pre-order GTA V now, that way you don't have to worry about anything except playing it this coming March. Then, you'd be super happy and ask me how I know it's coming out in March 2013 when the official line is Spring 2013. Then, I'd tell you "Shhhhh. Don't ask so many questions. Just get ready to play a GTA game with three main characters set in a fictionalized take on Los Angeles." Then, because there's nothing left to talk about, you'd get the hell out of my office.

Happy Holidays, amigos!

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