aldo-vallon - July 14, 2017
The breastival is upon us and it is important to stay calm. Make sure to take in plenty of water and electrolytes, and we are all sure to make it through this trying time.
I must hand it to the brain trust over at Hooters on a job well done. Most swimsuit competitions allow their contestants to wear whatever they want. With such a wide variety of bikinis and thongs it is difficult to properly judge them all on what matters. Under those conditions, it is a glorified fashion show, and they know it! It is an insult to the art form to have it perverted by "style" and "clothes".
But with Hooters, they have kept it to the basics. Wearing the same swimsuit and high heels, oh God those heels, makes it easy to focus on what attributes are important. It is like going to a private school where they all have uniforms, or the inner city. But thankfully, here we do not have to worry about which gang these dolls are affiliated with. Here all that matters is which one makes your trousers tightest.
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