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Heidi Montag Loves Her Breast Implants

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bill-swift - September 28, 2007

What is it with stupid celebrities "admitting" what everyone already knows? This week, the big news on the cover of Us Weekly was Heidi Montag "revealing" that she had breast implants stuffed into her formerly tiny chest. No way! Shut the fuck up! I had no idea! Actually, I did, since it was so completely fucking obvious.

Anyway, Heidi went on to talk about how much she loves her new breasts, and how they've really made her feel so much better about herself, and yada yada yada. She also talked about her new nose.

I've always been very insecure about my body. My whole life, I looked at my chest and was like, OK, they're going to grow. This is my year! And it never happened. I was less than an A-cup. I wore pushup bras, which cut into my skin. If I was with a guy and there was a girl next to me with big boobs, I would be like, Oh, my God, he's looking at her! On the beach, if I was standing next to a girl with big boobs, I'd be like, I hate her! I hated my nose too. I have my dad's nose, which is huge. It took up so much of my face, when I looked down, I could see my nose. I couldn't get away from it!

I guess it's appropriate though. Her personality is completely fake, and so is her relationship with her total douchebag of a boyfriend (or is it fiance now?), so why not her breasts? And her nose. Maybe next time she can get a brain implant. But she probably won't because sadly, no one is self-conscious about being a total moron.

Anyway, here are some Heidi Montag bikini pictures that show what she currently looks like. No doubt in a year or so she'll look completely different. I don't even want to think about what she'll look like in twenty years.



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