Heidi Klum Leggy Beach Pictures Remind Me We Shall Be Together Soon

Heidi Klum and I are pretty much meant to be together at some point. I lust her for her super veteran hotness, sweet model body, her legs, natch, and her super earning power. And she has no idea who I am. So, it's not exactly an evenly matched relationship just yet, but I'm working on it.

The statuesque German supermodel hit the beach in Malibu, with her kids (all of whom I'm willing to adopt as my own, you know, provided we can send them off to French boarding schools ASAP), just looking pretty damn mom-in-charge kind of hot. I can only imagine she's in desperate need of a hand to hold at the moment, you know, hand, foot, other body parts, and I want to be there for her rebound moment. Be the backboard that she brutalizes with her every frustrated nook and cranny (especially the crannies).

I can take it. And, more importantly, I really really want to take it. Enjoy.