Sam Robeson - June 25, 2017
Heather Graham is either 90's roadkill or one of the few survivors of the garbage decade. Her talents didn't allow for continued mainstream success post-Boogie Nights and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Not that she wasn't a good actress. Graham made people not commit mass murders when faced with a screeching self-fellating Mike Meyers in theaters. A worthy skill in and of itself.
The forty-seven-year-old might have just given up the tits too early. She delivered blatant sexuality and youthful coquettishness in her roles - a concoction that ages like three dollar wine. Introduce yourself as Grizabella if you're in it for the long haul. Ask Kristen Stewart. Graham was dragged out of obscurity for The Hangover only to be featured as an onscreen #TBT, like an Instagram picture of someone's middle school self in a neon green nylon track suit.
But the longevity of Graham's bangability knows no bounds. She's the off-brand Kate Beckinsale that we need to pay more attention to. Both women opted out of Courtney Cox's horror freak show chic and instead reached for the sunscreen. Or accredited plastic surgeons. Graham has the added bonus of not having had her body shredded to pieces by a baby. "Can you believe how great Jennifer Aniston looks?" Yes, she didn't sacrifice her earthly vessel.
The point of all of this is that Heather Graham posted a bikini pic on Instagram where she looks very fuckable. Hopefully she'll read this article and be inspired to post more bikini pics. That's what I aim to do. Inspire.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.