Never Go To A Nude Beach In A Lightning Storm

Nude beaches are one of those things that seem like a better idea than they actually are. Have you ever been to a clothing optional beach? Maybe in Europe? There is a 10 to 1 uggo to hottie ratio. Most people, especially the dudes, are just friggin' gross. I know that some people think of nudity as a lifestyle and they take it very seriously, but come on. No one wants to see your flabby gut hanging over your ding dong. And by the way, I include myself in that. No one wants to see me naked so I keep myself buttoned up. It is perhaps even more perplexing why someone would go to the beach in the middle of a lightning storm with your wang out.

Well, that's exactly what happened in Florida, (natch). At Haulover beach, America's largest public nude beach, in Dade county three people were taken to the hospital when lightning struck the water. Their sausages were sizzled but they will survive, perhaps a little wiser. I know that one of my biggest fears is that I will die in a compromising position like on the toilet or naked in the tub. The last thing I want paramedics dealing with is my burnt naked ass. So, please, think about other people before you make your poor life decisions.