Happy Birthday, Gene Simmons! Remember that Kiss-tacularly Crap Video Game You Made?

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bill-swift - August 26, 2013

Well, we're taking liberties with the term ‘made' here. The Demon --aged 64 today-- was presumably too busy thrusting his aging crotch around on stage and wearing dickish make-up to develop flash games. But someone did. This abomination exists nonetheless.

You may have seen Gene Simmons' Family Jewels (the TV show, not his dick. Although, granted, some of you may have seen that too. He did put it about a bit in the early Kiss days, we're told). Another of those darn ubiquitous reality shows, this one follows Gene and his family as they go about their oft-ridiculous lives. It's akin to the similar exploits of Ozzy and clan shown on The Osbournes, without the little dogs shitting on the carpet in the hall.

Most importantly, though, Gene's show gave rise to peculiar puzzler Gene's Jewels; answering the cries of the literally tens of people across the world clamoring for a match-three game with this great bastard's face all over it. Actual seconds of mildly distracting, rocktastic fun await.

If you've also been rabidly awaiting the chance to rotate/vanquish colored gems containing the Simmons family's disembodied heads (which you totally have), you can give this little oddity a try here. We don't advise it, as it's a massive heap of balls, but the option's there.

Image source: costumelicious.

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