Happy 124th Birthday, Nintendo! A Snarky Celebration of Wiis, Weird-Ass Card Games and Craptacular Virtual Boys

Befuddling as it may be to consider, Nintendo was founded on this day back in 1889. Needless to say, though, they didn't have magical elves (or design guru/Asian banjo playing manchild Shigeru Miyamoto) in their factories pumping out Mario, Zelda, Kirby and other video games for that thar telly-box then. There was no telly-box... thar to play them on. So what was the purpose of the freshly established company? Producing Hanafuda cards.

What in holy hell are they, you may ask. Even if you may not, you're about to be told. In honor of this auspicious occasion, we're embarking on a brief and mock-tastic journey through Nintendo's archives, in search of the best candidates for a good piss-taking. Swivel your eyestalks gallery-wards and hold on to your balls: games consoles for grandmas, terrible soundbites from dickish company executives and utterly shit eyeball-melting 3D awaits.

In other news, today is also Celebrate Bisexuality Day. This has nothing to do with anything, but it's the kind of information a Monday morning needs nonetheless.