bill-swift - January 4, 2013
A 200 year old bloody hanky turns out to be soaked in king Louis XVI's blood. The enlightenment era snot rag was stuffed in a gourd painted with scenes from the French Revolution and the words, "On January 21, Maximilien Bourdaloue dipped his handkerchief in the blood of Louis XVI after his decapitation." When they chopped off the king's head for being a fat rich bastard, his headless stump shot out all 8 pints of his blue blood on the guillotine scaffold. The angry peasants dipped pieces of cloth in the blood and kept them as souvenirs. French scientists analyzed the blood and compared it to both unlucky Louis' ancestors and descendants and found that it is indeed the dead king's blood. I didn't realize is that people kept souvenirs from bloody revolutions. I guess it makes sense as there probably wasn't a decent Reign of Terror gift shop. A one stop shop where you can get guillotine pencil sharpeners and aristocrat fingers. All revolutions should have one. If we'd had one in the early 18th century some lucky patron could have hung George Washington's wooden teeth from his carriage rear-view mirror. My Cuban grandfather should have totally swiped Fidel Castro's beard in 1959. Imagine what I could sell that for on Craigslist!