Guy Fieri Eating To Johnny Cash Classic Hurt

Gallery Icon

michael-garcia - June 8, 2016

Guy Fieri is the worst human being on Earth. There is no one worse. Maybe some evil African warlord who chops the hands off of kids come close to the level of human garbage that is guy Fieri. Watching one of his shows is like making love to a tube sock full of broken glass: painful and unsatisfying. Where I live in New York City he has one of his restaurants in which he calls a dish finished only when he slathers it in his disgusting looking "donkey sauce". What the hell is "donkey sauce" anyway? Is it a mixture of mayonnaise, Heinz 57, and his semen? Because that's what it looks like. There is even Guy Fieri erotica that will ruin sex for you and make you want to join a monastery. Still, he gets millions of dollars for being a fat moron while the rest of us try to make ends meet and live our lives as decent human beings.

In this video by Mayor Wertz he eats to fill the void inside while Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nail's Hurt plays. It's haunting and effective. I still want to punch him in the back of the head though. 

Tagged in: