Lex Jurgen - December 17, 2015
Gilbert Arenas hasn't been right since Shaq fucked his wife. His NBA career cut short for being an abrasive tool with an unhealthy obsession with guns and fireworks. For no apparent reason, Arenas posted a video of two hot chicks in thongs playing basketball and declared that this is what America was hoping the WNBA would be like, instead of prison chicks straight out of Orange Is the New Black. He went on to state that everybody knows he's right and anybody who disagreed was probably just an ugly angry chick. That seems speculative, though not completely divorced from reality.
The NBA was quick to distance themselves from the Arena remarks with a strong public statement about how everybody in the league office has a mother they love. Then they praised the twenty foot set shot and the beauty of beneath the rim play.
Arenas' remarks were ludicrous in the sense that everybody expected the WNBA to be exactly what it is, a pale imitation of the NBA featuring often frightening looking masculine chicks who alternatively beat and spitball babies into one another in the empty stands of their venues. What Arenas should've said was that if the WNBA featured tight bodied chicks in thongs playing ball, their audience would quadruple and assholes like Arenas and myself and many of you would watch attentively. That would be sexist, but also correct. These thong chicks can actually play. Which is weird. Look at those muscles. Somebody shoot a touchdown! Fuck, I'm gay.
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