Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: ‘Katy Perry: The Game’ Won’t be Nearly as Dirty as I Dreamed It

As we know, Katy Perry is a woman of many talents. She can warble her poptastic about fireworks and dark horses and such, show the paparazzi her ass when it inadvertently falls out of her bottoms at water parks and brilliantly not show us her chesticles. She's damn good at that last one, too.

It was only a matter of time before she added video game star to her resume. So stand the eff back, because here it comes.

Recently, the badonkadonkiest Kardashian hit the world with both barrels of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. This free-to-play ballache made around 50 million dollars. And naturally, where there's cashtacular, there's dudes in offices pointing furiously at Powerpoint presentations and saying yup, more of this shit, right here.

So Glu Mobile Inc. are wading in again, with another slice of celeb-based gaming. As Kotaku reported this week, the developer promises ‘an innovative, highly entertaining mobile experience.' I'm going to call BS on that, and predict another cutesy, Justin Bieber-ish affair like last time. All we know so far is that the game will feature her voice, likeness and personality.

Still, this one isn't aimed at us. You can tell by the absence of dancing sharks, and the presence of clothing on Perry's part. Well, assumed absence. There's always hope.