bill-swift - May 21, 2013
Do you like movies but wish that they smelled more like delicious junk food? Then you are in luck! Scientists in Brazil, (who previously brought you PelÃ© and bald vaginas), have invented a DVD that gives off Domino's Pizza smell when played. You may remember DVDs as the flat disks that contained movies and hours of bonus features no one ever watched. They are still popular in Brazil where downloading movies off the internet is limited due to all of the soul-crushing poverty and whatnot. When you play the DVDs, a, (probably), carcinogenic substance is released that fills your room with syntho-pizza scent. The disk itself will then have turned its brown-grey label into a pepperoni pizza looking sticker that gives off even stronger pizza BO when you eject it. Magic! The idea is that this will make you want to order a Domino's Pizza. I see some flaws in the reasoning.
Linking smell and movies is nothing new. Smell-O-Vision and Aroma-roma were competing systems developed in the 60's that would flood the movie theater with scents relating to the action on screen. Jon Waters later spoofed these with his disgusting smelling Odorama scratch-and-sniff cards for Polyester. The problem is that the synthetic smells became so overwhelming that people were too distracted to watch the movies. Instead of making them want to buy popcorn, people just yacked in the aisles. Also, what's to say that the pizza smell from the DVDs would prompt me to specifically buy a Domino's Pizza? I live in New York City where there is a pizza place very two blocks. I will often pass one and smell the deliciousness and think, "I'm going to get a slice...at a pizza place I know and like and not Original Ray's VVIIIXX that might suck". And finally, is it a good idea to encourage people to eat more junk food and get even fatter? If we gain too much more weight we are going to knock the Earth off of its axis.