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Five Bands That Should Join Pussy Riot Behind Bars

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bill-swift - August 21, 2012

Poor Pussy Riot. When I first heard your name I knew you were a political movement I could get behind. And now you three have been sentenced for two years behind bars under a charge of 'hooliganism.' It's probably the first time anyone in America's even used the world hooligan since the fifties.

A lot of bands and recording artists have ended up in the slammer. Usually it's a short stay revolving around drugs, or gun possession charges, or in Phil Spector's case for being caught driving under the influence of a bad wig. But luckily we have the First Amendment, which protects bands' rights to speak and sing politically, even negatively. Bruce Springsteen, Green Day, the Dixie Chicks have all recorded music that in Russia would've apparently gotten them sentenced to some Siberian gulag for twenty years.

Unfortunately, the First Amendment also means really awful bands are allowed to legally sing terrible music and pollute the airwaves with harmful, auto-tuned nonsense without fear of being locked up in the slammer for their crimes (I'm looking at you Bieber). So it's kind of a toss-up when you really stop to think about it.

In a perfect society (AKA one where I make all the rules) bands can be punishable for any number of offenses without a little thing called 'the Constitution' around to protect them. So here are five groups I think belong behind bars a lot more than Pussy Riot.

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