aldo-vallon - July 10, 2018
The word guru gets thrown around a lot these days, but after getting a peak at the body on Michelle Lewin I am compelled to say it fits her well.
She looks like she has been raised on genetically enhanced chicken breast since she was first able to eat solid food. Maybe if my parents had been as proactive in regards to my fitness as hers were then I could have had a future in modeling as well. But instead my parents chose to raise me on Hostess and Mountain Dew and my body developed accordingly.
Oddly enough, my teeth were almost unaffected. My mouth looks as good as an eighty-year-old man’s who just got a new set of dentures. I don’t know who those old guys think they are fooling with their pearly whites, but we can all see through it. Just like we can see through their pitch black toupees.
I probably should not be so hard on them since I will be in their shoes in no time. Like, literally in their shoes. I still buy my clothes from thrift shops and chances are those clothes were donated by the deceased’s children.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA